Obituary of Gary R. Benacchio

March 6, 2021

Gary Benacchio – Life Story

Gary Richard Benacchio passed away on March 6, 2021, at the age of 70. Before joining his family in heaven, he was in the company of his family here on earth, surrounded by their love and faithful prayer. The story of Gary, however, is not about how he passed. His life story – as anyone who knew him would agree – is one of family, neighborhood, and heart.

Gary was born June 2, 1950, the youngest son of Enrico Benacchio and Marie Alamia Benacchio. It is from them that Gary learned the central value of family. Rico and Marie would always remind him that no matter how much the family grew, the core of Gary, his brother Bob, and his sister Sandra must stay strong and always be there for each other. And that is how it was. Whether in joy or struggle and however long the journey, Gary, Bob, and Sandra remained together.

Over the past difficult weeks, Gary's children, Vincent and Karen, showed just how strongly the value of family lives in them. They are the best parts of their Dad, their Nonee, and their Poppy. They are Gary's pride and joy; you heard it in the way he always greeted Vinnie as "my son," and Karen as "my daughter." You saw it when he left after a holiday or family gathering, saying goodbye with those same words and his trademark hug that was a little tighter and lasted a few seconds longer than you expected. It was his sign of a love for his family that was at times imperfect, but always present and unwavering.

It should come as no surprise that Gary's granddaughters, Sofia, Hannah, and Lucia are the apples of his eye, and how much they unconditionally loved their "Pop." The first things you noticed in Pop's apartment were not furniture or clothing; they were the pictures he had of him and his granddaughters – prominently displayed and carefully kept. You knew that they are what made Pop's eyes the brightest and Pop's heart the warmest.

Gary, Bob and Sandra grew up on Sullivan Street in Greenwich Village, or as he called it, "the Neighborhood." Whether you knew Gary for five minutes or five years, his favorite stories were those about the Neighborhood, and you weren't likely to leave his company without hearing one of those stories and a few lessons you could take from his life in the Neighborhood. Five people living in a Sullivan Street walk-up didn't make for much personal space; Gary and Bob slept in the same bed most nights as kids. But random conversations about meaningless things that were so important back then might never have happened in a house where things were "mine" rather than "ours." Gary learned in those years to be his brother's closest friend and his sister's fiercest protector (even though Sandra did a lot of the protecting).

Gary was a graduate of LaSalle Academy and earned an undergraduate degree in Psychology from Stony Brook University. He will be the first to tell you, however, that his education didn't come from the books he read at those institutions, but from the friends, he made there. One of the things nearest Gary's chair was a reunion photo of him and his LaSalle brothers – another family of which he was a proud member.

Gary had a talent for creating families and Neighborhoods wherever he went. In 1960, the family bought a house in Sound Beach where they would gather most weekends to spend time together and "work on the house," which generally involved a short time spent on a construction project and a far longer time spent talking in the yard and playing with Gary's Dalmatian, Blaze – a faithful friend like no other. The Sound Beach house stayed in the family for a generation, hosting a growing family of Gary's nieces and nephews, close friends like his neighbors Gloria and Louie and Gary' closest friend Richard, and – especially on July 4th – the Sound Beach community, who would gather for a pig roast in the yard during the day and a "homemade" firework show at the beach at night.

The work Gary loved most was with the Port of New York Authority at the World Trade Center as an Operations Group Supervisor. Gary became part of the family at Mother PONYA quickly; they knew him as a man of character who was quite a character. A conversation or meeting with "Benotch" was full of "Garyisms," and ended with "Capishe?" followed by "Okay, gotta go." At no time were you ever unsure where you stood.

Gary made more things happen at and brought more things in and out of the World Trade Center than one could imagine. His team was part of things as absurd as getting a llama to the Observation Deck, and as deeply meaningful as the annual Toys for Tots drive in the lobby that brought a little light to kids who needed it. Though he was no longer on the Operations team on 9/11, he was at the buildings that day and survived the attack. He spent years after comforting the families of those who were not so lucky. His collection of awards and "souvenirs" from the Towers were never far from his sight, and his PONYA family never far from his heart.

Gary brought the Neighborhood on an overseas tour to the Benacchio family in Italy multiple times over the last ten years. The Benacchio family originated in San Nazario, and Gary was a fixture at the "Benacchio nel Monde" gatherings there, going once with Bob and Sandra. He loved every minute he spent in Italy and was welcomed by family from across the globe. Not surprisingly, they all looked forward to his visits and stories about the Neighborhood and family in America. Gary will be a lasting connection to our family in Italy.

No story of Gary's life would be complete without sharing his time in Hagaman, NY. One of his friends posted about how much he had "added to our little village" in the time he lived there. Gary brought love of family and the Neighborhood there as well: to his friends and CP's and Stewart's, to those who opened their families and homes to him, and to those he was all too happy to chat with, comfort, tutor, and simply share an evening and story or two from the Neighborhood with. It is comforting that Gary's life began in a Village known for family and values and that his last days were spent in Hagaman – a village where he found that same sense of family and values.

Gary passed due to heart failure, but those who knew him know he was a man whose heart never failed. One of a few who remembered Latin, the phrase "vita mutator, non tollitur," ("Life is changed, not ended"), would have special meaning for Gary now. His journey here complete, he is welcomed with love to a new life with those who gave him life. Enjoy telling the angels about the Neighborhood. And please don't ask God if He "Capishes" – He does. Gary was loved in so many places, and we will love him always.

Visitation for Gary will be at Perazzo Funeral Home on Thursday, 3/11/21. At the request of the family, please click the link to sign up for a time slot as there is limited seating due to covid at the wake.

A funeral mass will take place at Our Lady of Pompeii Church on Friday, 3/12/21 at 10:00 am.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the charity of your choice.

Funeral Services

Funeral Mass

March 12, 2021

10:00 AM

Our Lady of Pompeii in Greenwich Village

25 Carmine Street

New York, NY 10012

Get Directions

Funeral Mass

March 12, 2021

10:00 AM

Our Lady of Pompeii in Greenwich Village

25 Carmine Street

New York, NY 10012

Get Directions


March 12, 2021

Calvary Cemetery

49-02 Laurel Hill Blvd.

Woodside, NY 11377

Get Directions

Share a Memory

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Rest in peace Gary you won't soon be forgotten

Posted by: Rick Bellamy - Hagaman, NY - Friend March 12, 2021

Gary was one of a group of us from the neighborhood that went to Woodstock together. For me, one of my favorite memories of Gary and of Woodstock was when it was time to head home and cars were all over. Everyone was trying to get on the road. Gary started to direct traffic, moving cars onto the road and clearing the way. It was so funny to watch him controlling traffic and having total strangers cooperating and following his direction. He leaves behind many friends and a lot of great memories.

Posted by: Barbara Krupinski - , NJ - Friend March 10, 2021

Each August Gary would remember his trip to Woodstock, on Facebook, and would include some of the names of the neighborhood people who went with him. It took many years to recall most of the people who went to Woodstock with Gary that day. We never came up with an accurate list but had fun reminiscing.

Posted by: Elizabeth Walter - Upper Montclair, NJ - Friend March 9, 2021

Our travels began at OLP then LaSalle and the Dudley Club I'm glad we remained in touch and I as able to tell you about my granddaughter's birth on February 12th. Gary you will be in my heart forever.

Posted by: Paul VOLPE - New York City, NY - Friend March 9, 2021

Ta Ta for now my friend. You have already been missed so much in our restaurant due to COVID restrictions. The corner stool will always have your spirit. I'm going to play some old songs today in your honor.

Posted by: Pamela Madej - Hagaman, NY - Friend March 9, 2021

Gary was New York with his Italian swag I loved so much. I Loved his doo wop music he would play for me at work. He cried with me with happiness at getting to meet my son I gave up for the first time. His heart was big and we all loved him at cp's . Rest In Peace Gary my friend

Posted by: Susan Mack - Hagaman, NY - Friend March 8, 2021

Gary, You will always be my sunshine at the end of a day. You always had me laughing even if I was sad. Your the only one that played games with me on the computer that I will miss with your funny comments. I know you will be having everyone laughing and listening to all your stories of the neighborhood and Italy in Heaven. The Lord gained another wonderful and caring angel. Rest with the angels my friend. Your neighborhood friend from Sullivan Street. Alice Longobardi Velasquez.

Posted by: Alice Velasquez - Staten Island, NY - Friend March 8, 2021

My sincere condolences on your loss. I grew up with Gary in the neighborhood and I have fond memories of those days. Most recently we saw each other at Saint Anthony's reunions and Villa Mosconi and reminisced about the good old days. Yes his hugs were always a bit longer and tighter than you would think and I hold them in my heart. Cherish your memories and know he is loved by many!

Posted by: Christine Hurtig (née Antinori) - Manahawkin, NJ - Friend March 8, 2021

My friend you will be missed everyday. Our little village of Hagaman will never be the brought a smile and laugh to each of us daily..see you again one day my friend xo

Posted by: Penny Ross - Hagaman, NY - Friend March 8, 2021